Return to Dreams of 2001-2003

  I almost die a lot,
in my dreams

November 25, 2001

I was at my Church, which in a dream will appear more like a Cathedral. There are stain glass windows, mysterious darkness, and the lines of pews in the center of the Church.
I begin to feel a sincere Christian moment cross over me and I began to pray.

“Dearest God, These men are the real deal.”

I considered for a moment the horrible possibility that God didn’t honor priests. Consider the waste of a romantic life. It is all given up “for a robe.” A priest could be very ridiculous in the cosmic scheme of things if what they do doesn’t matter to God. Priests give up his entire life; a sacrifice for God, others, and himself. It would be quite interesting if God didn’t care about the work they did.

“I pray for these men. They sacrifice everything in an attempt to serve You. Please help...”

In this moment, I realize that my prayer feels holy. I believe that God is actually listening and considers my prayer a good one. I continue,

“I pray for sick people, and mothers of sick people...

I feel curious about myself at this point. I try to think if there’s anything else to tell God while he’s listening. In a sense of humor I don’t think i can explain i leave Church with the following words on my lips.
“I’d like to win the lottery too”
I did say that. In dreams I believe where I’m at and mean what I say.

The Catholic Church is my Church. God is connected to the buildings and the people of the church. My “dream-self” has enormous respect for this church. I haven’t and normally would not ever acknowledge in real life to anyone.

*Charles thinks of Buffy Summers (the Vampire Slayer from the T.V. show)*

I was thinking about her religion. I wonder if Buffy is catholic. The show wouldn’t make the “mistake” of telling us outright which Christian denomination their star character was. This would be an unnecessary tension. The show is about daemons, vampires, and witches. It does not need further controversy.

In Episode One of the College Season Buffy walks through her new school. A girl approached Buffy and said,

“Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?”

In my dream, Buffy looks at the jeweled cross the girl is wearing and says,
“I thought guardian angels were supposed to do that (save people).”
I don’t know what Buffy said in the real show. A girl did ask Buffy the question on the show. But, I don’t ever remember what Buffy’s real answer was. Buffy slays all forms of evils. The Vampire Slayer is like the “guardian angel” of Sunnydale and wherever she is.
In my dream she is saying that she is the savior of the flesh. She is mocking Jesus for not acting directly to save the earth from the fleshly problems it has.
In my dream, Buffy knows Jesus saves the soul. But, she is reminding everyone of all the times she’s saved the world from ending and many malicious evils.

I leave the Church through the double doors. I fly from the Church downtown to the Browning Building.

I fly around campus up the hill in the direction of the Browning building. I fly a lot in my dreams. When i fly in my dreams, I wonder why I am able to fly sometimes and not others. I doubt my ability to fly. But, every time when dreaming I have no doubt in my mind that I am capable. I think to myself, Why people don’t do this all the time? Why I’m the only one who wants to do this? I consider wearing a super-man costume as a joke. That would be dorky and just draw attention to something stupid. The skies have darkened... I’m late for my second, I’ve been to first class, I turned in my assignment...

I have an assignment to do in French. I dreamed that about turning it in. Class is different in dreams.

(ASIDE)CROSS COUNTRY RUN TOO!, The cross-country team parks their bikes in the woods, and we all take off. I do get some water before we leave. I think it’s only a 1 mile run today, it’s not too hard at all.

I turn in my paper, then fly out the door and say, “I’ve survived another day!” I think i survive days one at a time and that I’ve been saved by a deified serendipity almost daily like one is on television.

The sky is darker now. I learn tornados are spotted on the horizon in town. Tornados don’t scare me. I don’t take serious accounting for 1/100,000 chances of being hit with a tornado. I should.
A tornado advances from the northwest and toward where I was standing in the “Bowl” on campus. I maneuver one direction, then another to avoid the tornado. The tornado misses me by several yards and continues moving to the southeast.

How quickly my life was nearly over!

There is this person who lived until 120 years old. It made me want to tell 60-year-olds everywhere that their life isn’t over yet. Half of their life is still ahead of them. People won’t like longevities. Today, scientists are researching using cloning for extending the human life span. Is living longer a great thing to hope for? Most of us haven’t planned what we are going to do when we are aged 70-100 years. The desire to live longer is simply a mindless attempt to stay alive. Who says plan something important or significant when they are 100+.
Plan something! You’ll be bored!

My life was nearly over because of the tornado. I took solace that it had passed by. “Tornados can’t turn around!” I waited a few moments and then took a sign of relief. Good, i thought, “I’m right, they don’t turn around, and it’s a wind-stream thing. They have to go with the wind-streams.”

I look to the horizon.... Three more tornados are cris-crossed and looming in one section of the sky. Truly, In my dream it is as if a clip-art set of tornados was pasted on a perfectly normal skyline.

I run for cover in the nearby schoolhouse. I grab someone and take them to safety in the schoolhouse. There is no danger here.
It was Buffy. Buffy was there.
Buffy being there is all I cared about this dream really. For a few moments, in a dream, I stood next to “my hero”. The situation at school was getting unusual, someone was chasing me and I needed a friend to help me. She had a X-bow and everything!

:  "Buffy was there...",



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