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  Tommy, Do you know what the stigmata is?  

Saturday, June 25, 2005

 

 

 

“Tommy, do you know what a stigmata is?”  I asked him a third time.  I needed to know before I showed him what happened.  He never answered so my story was going to be more difficult to tell.

We were in my Westchester house.  The sky was darkening.  I had had a terrifying dream earlier.


I dreamt that I was fighting with a large dog.  I was poking it and kicking it.  I was poking it in the parking lot of Toys R’ Us. 

I had gone into Toys R’ US at 4:00 am.  Entering the front door, which was opened.  There were seven cashiers and 2 police officers there.  The lights were on up front but people toward the back were packing up boxes.  They told me to leave.  I said, “you’re not opened? Look at all this stuff [people]” They instructed me to leave.

So I left and saw this dog in the parking lot.  Instead of greeting it kindly I gave it a small kick.  Eventually the dog and I got to fighting.  The dog bit my arm.  Its teeth held tightly.  I was not concerned.  The dog’s teeth were not particularly strong and were not breaking the skin.  I began to punch the dog in the nose, poke it in the eyes.  The dog’s mouth was opened so I pinched its gums for a while hoping it would let go.  It did not let go.

I pulled back my arm to swing again at the dogs face.  A second dog came from the blind side and bit my other arm as well.  I was somewhat trapped.  These two dogs held tightly to both my arms as I struggled to break free.  I could feel the pain coursing in my veins.


When I awoke from my dream I walked around my Westchester house as I said.  Boy, I need a walk, I said.  Looking down at my arms I saw two blotchy spots where the dogs had bitten me.  I looked at it once, twice, and a third time.  I did not really believe it.  These were huge marks.  I walked around the house for a minute then sneaked a peek back at my arms and the spots were still there.  I rubbed them and tried to get blood flowing into the areas.

 

Decided the best remedy would be to take a walk.  I searched for my Nike shoes around the house.  Found one shoe but not the other.  Seeing my brother I asked, “Tommy, do you know what the stigmata is?’  He did not reply which was annoying. 

I was dreaming earlier I told him: about two dogs.  They had bitten me and now I have this on my arms.  I think it is a sign from God.  I realized I sounded something crazy and would probably be dismissed. 

 

I realized that, unless you’re very cute, it’s going to be hard to convince anyone of any miracle in today’s society. 


I continued searching for my shoe.  Looked to the window.  Something there validated my opinion. 


No matter how many times I dream of storms or tornados in my dreams:  When I am there, it is like the very first time.  Indeed I am frightened to the point of fearing death.  I will often pray.  There is no “been there done that” feeling about it to me.  Which is why, no matter how many dreams I have about “the same thing” I continue to type with some passion because my feelings during the dreams are so strong. 

Additionally, the tornados are always and always different.  You’d think my mind would have a “Stock macro” for how a storm should act or appear.  In this dream…


Tiny wisps of wind were crashing against the windowsill making small spirals of dust as they hit.  It was a portent of things to come.  I call about the house. “Everyone get in the basement!”  Its tornado weather.  I wonder why the weather broadcast or the large tornado warning horn has not gone off yet.

Aaron is upstairs in total darkness playing on the computer.  The computer screen is also in complete darkness.  I tell him, “Please come to the basement, a tornado is coming.”  He does not move.

I can feel a great storm is coming.  I look down at my arms again to see if the spots are still there.   On my right arm the black spots have appeared and the bruising seems somewhat less.  I pray to God for remission of sins.  I think the end is near, if not for the world, then for me.


 

Conclusion: 

Is the end really near?  Sure.  I guess.

Did you notice the Dream within a Dream?  I was dreaming about the 2 dogs biting me, woke up in my dream and told Tommy and showed him the markings.  I really believed I had woke up.  And felt the “reality” stupidity explaining what I thought it meant.

When I woke up I prayed again (for good measure I suppose).

It’s the feelings of being face to face with the destined death, which is apparent in these dreams. quite dramatically which is the strongest emotion.  I wonder in some distant way if I am a sign of the apocalypse or if dreaming about storms is as common as breakfasts.

 

 

 


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